Du sagst, Du vermisst mich.
Und ich fehle Dir.
Du sehnst Dich
Nach alten Zeiten mit mir.
Ich will gerade was sagen
Du hast mir auch gefehlt
Doch kann's nicht wagen
Jedes Wort wäre gequält.
Ich will Dich hassen
Ich will dich schlagen
Allen Zorn los lassen
Dir an den Kragen
Dir Wünsch ich nichts mehr
Du hast alles gebrochen
Deine Worte, Sätze leer
In mein herz gestochen
Man kann sie nicht zurück drehen, die Zeit
Erwidere ich dann leise
Doch bin ich immer bereit
Für eine neue Weise
New Year - New Game
So I guess, here we are, right?
2008. Look at this loooong word: twothousandeight. It does look a bit strange, though. And that's how it's gonna be this year. Well, I speak for myself now.
I'd like to adress some words to this strange, strange new year 2008.
I hope you're gonna be alright. Because if you go on the way you've started, I'll be dead by the time we're half way through. So don't be mean to me, will you? I guess you're bringing some really wonderful events aswell. Like my driving licence. Or the fact that I'm gonna be 18 soon. The new play "verbrennungen" in which I play a role which they think really suits me. (Nawal, 60, she's dead by the way. And she didn't speak the last five years of her life because she got raped in jail of her son and now she's got twins with him. Why the hell do they think THIS suits ME?!)
But 2008. You know what? This is gonna be my year. Deal? I mean, heeey I really need a very good year.
So, welcome new year. And I hope we get along well.. Would be such a shame.
Ps: could you please, please be a very beautiful summer? Thanks a lot
.. so sad.
this fucking freaks me out. i can't even exactly tell why. it's just this whole thing about Alen and my feelings. just today he said everything's gonna be fine, he knows what he did wrong all the time. and now? what's left of those things he said?
it's just freaking me out. i'm out of my mind. i'm out of my soul. it's just freaking me out, taking my breath. i can't discribe it. things get broken. but if they're broken more than two times they never never ever get repaired again. not in a million years. i don't miss the old times but i do miss my old people. i was happy back than and happy i wanna be. but i can't. it's just freaking me out.
i remember what i once said. and i have to admit that i was right. i didn't wanted to believe it, but i have to confess - it's true and it's gonna be like that for ever. and always. people like me, are alone, and stay alone. there's no one who 's gonna stay for longer. no one. even if they say so. they never do it.
about Alen? i don't know. i want him to stay. he was here till now.. and i made the same mistake like always. i let him come too near. too close. he's pushing me away, bringing me nearer again and forgetting me. i love him. he's my brother. he's my... i don't know.. he's there for me and never went away till now. and even now. it's just that i'm not used to that anymore. to beeing alone. he's got his girl now and he's forgetting everything & me. just sooooo not used to that..
but i'm gonna be strong. like always. and always. and i won't cry just because i have to stay strong. that's a good thing. i just have to perfectionize it.. forever
wunderschön und wortlos.
... ich soll vertrauen haben. sagte, ich müsse mich einfach mal fallen lassen. mein misstrauen gehen lassen. mich einfach mal öffnen.
aber als ich wieder aufwachte, war keiner mehr da und niemand wachte über mich.
Da sah ich, dass jemand wie ich, der immer alleine war, auch immer alleine bleiben wird. Selbst in einer Menge von lieben Menschen.
alone but not lonely
lost in the middle of the night
in the middle of my thoughts
toughts about you.
by my nightmare
just touched by the neverending nightmare
you were dead
and I lost
somewhere in the life
and so i followed